What to Expect when House-Hunting in Lagos

Lagos agents will make you almost run mad

When one is house hunting, they tell you to have a budget, know what your budget can afford(size or type of apartment), look for an agent, relate your need to this fellow and let them take it up, they should call you back in a few days with what you want, all of these in a normal world, but as we know that things are not the way they should seem in this Lagos, because your blood is gonna dry.

When you want to start house hunting in Lagos, get ready for these things that will make you ask shey you will not go and be living underbridge bayi

1. FINDING AN AGENT: When you want to rent house in this Lagos, don’t even think you can walk up to any house and say you want to check out the vacant apartment, nobody will even answer you, so you better find one agent, you will see those shops where they write room to let, self con available, two bedroom flat available, three bedroom apartment flat available, everything is available right? Leemao, your blood’s gonna dry.
2. PAYING FOR FORM: Now that you have seen the agent, they will tell you to pay for form. This is where it starts getting funny because this form is just a photocopy, but the price for this form is always around 3000–5000 for lagos mainland sha. If you don’t pay, they will not take you seriously, scratch that, they will never take you seriously, but you will sha pay, mind you they say this fee covers their transportation when you guys go for house inspections, but lori iro!
3. FILLING FORM: Though some people argue the form is not useless, but when house hunting, filling any form before seeing the house is just basically useless, because you will end up asking for the services of more than one agent, then you will have your details with more than one agent. Mind you, some of these agents, the questions you will be answering there are questions you should only find when applying for a visa or passport.
4. HOUSE INSPECTION: Now that you have paid for the form, these agents from hell will start calling to tell you they have found the perfect house for you, and if you don’t hurry down to check this house, someone else will take it. You too, you will start rushing because you don’t want your village people to get you. Only for you to get there, if there is no burial site just right there at the entrance, then it is an uncompleted building, if it’s not any of those, then the compound is extremely horrible, point is, the house is just not going to be good!
5. MEETING LANDLORD: Guess what, you are still checking the house, the owner of the house meets you, starts asking what you do for a living, just answer banker or engineer, because digital marketer, content creator, bitcoin trader, etc., to them = yahoo boy, skincare therapist, online store owner = olosho and if you are a lady, before they ask, always chip “my fiancee” into almost every statement, this one seems like we are teaching you to lie, but don’t worry, you will thank us later.
6. MORE MONEY: When you try to complain about point 4, they will tell you that it is your budget that caused it, if you can add small money to the initial budget you told them(and they said is perfect), they will get you one apartment that is just perfect, then, you will start asking yourself, or should I add more money to my budget? Hellooooo, don’t!
7. NEVER PERFECT: When you finally get the house you think is good, surprise surprise, something will be wrong when you have to move in, e sure for us die! The house can never be perfect, you will sha have to have to fix something.

We hope with these few points of ours, we have been able to convince and not confuse you that house hunting in Lagos is not for the weak.